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WHEN DEATH OCCURS
What to Do When Death Occurs :
Death Away From Home :
The Role of the Funeral Home
What To Do When Death Occurs
General Guidelines
There are few things in life more traumatic than the death of a family member. Most people are not totally prepared to know exactly what to do or the sequence in which to do things. This section will offer some advice on what to do when a death occurs. We would like you to know that our funeral home is available twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week to handle any death that occurs. Whether the death was sudden or anticipated, most families are in a state of shock. The first thing a family needs to do is to call us immediately at 203-255-1031 so we can immediately take over. Our job is to ensure that your loved one is taken care of from the moment of death to the final ceremony. We can offer help, suggestions or answer questions that immediately relieve anxiety.
An Unanticipated Death
If a seizure, accident or foul play occurs call 911 immediately! Relay information such as the address of the scene, telephone number you are at, name of the victim, your name and any other pertinent information. The police and emergency service personnel will determine the appropriate steps to take, depending upon the situation. In the case of a non-suspicious death of an apparently healthy individual, the police will call the State Medical Examiner's Office for instructions.
If the victim had been under a physician's care, the Medical Examiner can release the deceased to a funeral home. In all cases, the Medical Examiner has the right to order an autopsy. However, many times the only requirement is that the M.E.'s office check with the physician and the family before a release is approved. We then can take charge of the deceased for transfer to the funeral home.
State Law Regarding a Death
In Connecticut, the statutes state that a person cannot be removed from the place of death until a pronouncement of death has been made by an attending physician, registered nurse with a physician's verbal approval, or an Emergency Medical Technician with verbal approval from the Medical Examiners office.
An Anticipated Death in a Healthcare Facility
When a death occurs in a hospital or nursing home, there is little the family needs to do immediately, except to call us. The medical staff at the healthcare facility will pronounce the death and sign the Death Certificate. We will be in contact with the facility about releasing the deceased to us. Although some healthcare facilities will call the funeral home on behalf of the family, this is the exception rather than the rule. They may encounter another emergency or patient need that delays notification. To be safe, it is best that the family calls us directly. You may want to contact our funeral home in advance to talk to us about prearranging the funeral either requesting information from us or going online to our preplanning form.
An Anticipated Death at Home
Many people with a debilitating terminal illness want to die at home in more familiar surroundings with family close by. When a death occurs outside of a healthcare facility, the first step would be to call the attending physician who cared for the individual, the hospice or the visiting registered nurse in charge. One of them must come to the home to pronounce the death. If neither of them can come, then we must call the Medical Examiners office for approval before the deceased is transferred. Once the pronouncement has been made, no matter what time of day, we will come to the home to take charge of the deceased. Once you have called the physician, your next call should be to us. You may also want to think about prearranging the funeral so that the funeral home has an idea of what your wishes are for your loved one. You may contact us by phone or fill out the online preplanning form.
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When Death Occurs Out of Town
Wherever the death occurs, call Shaughnessey-Banks immediately. There is no need to call an unknown funeral director in a place that you might be unfamiliar with. We can act as your agent, with resulting savings, through a network of participating funeral homes. We will handle all of the details and arrange transportation. Only if you plan to have services or visitation in the town where death occurred and you know a local funeral home, should you call them directly. We will certainly cooperate with them for transportation and services locally.
Consider Advanced Arrangements
Many times an elderly person will move out-of-town to be with a family member, but they still desire to be returned "home" for funeral services. We frequently meet with the family prior to the move to plan for an eventuality. We begin the process of gathering information and discussing services. In this way, the family is not overwhelmed or unprepared at the time of death. Everyone knows what to do and who will do it. To begin the process, simply give us a call at (203) 255-1031. We will record your requests and keep them on file or you can also go to our online preplanning form.
You can start the pre-planning process with Shaughnessey-Banks Funeral Home by completing the information requested on the funeral section. We will help you complete the information needed at your convenience.
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After that what do I do next?
Once notified, t will immediately remove the deceased from your home, the hospital or convalescent care facility. We will contact a clergy member immediately to inform them of the death if you are a member of any church. We will then arrange for you to meet with us either in the funeral home or at your home to discuss the various service options available. Our role is to coordinate all of your wishes and may include: contacting the church and cemetery, ordering flowers, writing the obituary, co-coordinating music, printing programs, etc. doing a video tribute, etc.
What information is required when making arrangements?
You will be asked to provide the funeral director with vital statistical information about the deceased. This includes but is not limited to, date and place of birth, parent's name, social security information, veteran's service information, etc. You may wish to fill out the At-Need Form and print it out.
What items do I need to bring to the funeral home with me?
If there is a visitation or wake, you will need to bring suitable clothing for the deceased. This includes underclothing and shoes. We would also like you to bring in a photograph of the deceased for identification purposes.
Who will write the obituary?
Every newspaper has their own format for obituaries and death notices. You may write the obituary yourself and bring it into the funeral home. If not, the funeral director will be available to do this for you.
What about a cemetery plot and headstone?
A cemetery plot will need to be purchased if the deceased is going to be buried and does not have cemetery property in their family. The funeral director will assist you in selecting a cemetery that meets your needs. The purchase of a headstone is best left until after the funeral when decisions can be made without the stress.
What can I do to make the funeral more personal?
Utilizing photographs and memorabilia and including a video tribute can make any service more personal. Easels and tables are available in the funeral home to set up personal items to make a fitting tribute to your loved one. Our directors can give you suggestions to individualize your service.
Should my children attend the funeral?
Only parents can decide if their children should attend a funeral. Some helpful guidelines might be the age of the child and if the child truly wants to attend. Shaughnessey-Banks Funeral Home has a family lounge for children during arrangement conferences and visitations and also offers a pamphlet entitled, "Talking to Children about Death".
Can I give a eulogy during the funeral service?
Most religious denominations allow, at a selected time during the service, for a family member to offer some personal words of consolation. Assistance and guidance will be given to anyone in the family who would like to include some personal remarks during the funeral service.
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